was reading some stuff from some where some time just now. it set me thinking real deep. thinking back about my life, i think i shall blog about whatever thats on my mind right now.
my friends and i, we did alot of stupid things together in the past, during our secondary school days. theres just too much of it,that i've lost count. and certainly, there were cases where by i really regretted what i did, and for some, i wish i did but i didn't. but seriously, i think theres just may be a handful of things which i really regretted, and i think thats alr quite enough.
its not some small thing like, oh i really regret buying this pair of jeans coz it sucks. its about things so big that i really wish some one could shoot me in the head and just kill me. why? coz everythings just too late right now. luckily my buds were there with me, we supported each other and hence we were lucky enough to have grown healthy and strong through the dark ages lol.
from 14 we became 15 and then 16 17 and now 18 going on 19. through these years, i saw, met, experienced, screwed up, got stabbed, fucked-up, been through ups and downs. things i did, people were not happy about. things people did, and i was equally pissed. god didnt grant us the ability to see through people's mind, coz he knows thats too lethal a weapon. so he decides that all man shall collect and compile all their experiences and learn from them. damn, i must say, i learnt alot.
that hollow feeling, when dealing friends. its giving me a really hard time to trust people now. i've seen far too many cases that the sub-conscious me is already waking up in attempt to take full control of my mind so he can kill everybody coz he believes shiwei can only trust himself. however, theres still a handful of buds i can count on.
my life is just plain boring right now. i dont even know wad i can do when im free. HELP !
i dont gamble, i dont play mahjong, i dont play as much pool as i used to play anymore, i dont meet up with my friends in town anymore, its been 200 yrs since we all went out together.
may be im just too used to this boring life of mine, coz nothing interests me anymore. i am lazy to style my hair when i go out, im lazy to dress nicely when i go out, im lazy to walk to the bus stop to take a bus, im lazy to get out of my house. i stay home and sleep almost everyday, and dream. wake up and go to school.
the pool playins days were gone, the drinking days were gone, the slacking days are semi-gone. i seriously dont know whats gonna happen to my life when everything and everyone is gone. but i dreamt of this guy that day, and he told me he is god. he told me not to worry about anything because everythings gonna be fine real soon, and took some faith of mine and kept it in his pocket.
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