Right, its a state of mind.

Right.

2009-03-06T00:17:00.005+08:00

been thinking alot lately.
how should i start, theres alot i need to get off my chest.
well, not like anyone can really understand, i dont wanna explain as well.
i feel like a living dead.
.
anyway heres a video i wanna share.
you can check out the HD version on YouTube,
and its called "Where the hell is Matt"

seriously, theres much more to life isn't it?

Fast Forward.

2009-03-01T02:32:00.004+08:00

On this very day 1 year ago,

I went to Chiang Mai, Thailand,

to be a volunteer.

Edge of Time.

2009-02-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

Today marks the end of school. I am glad that there will be no more waking up early and dragging myself to school, no more stressing over this and that of projects, no more examinations. I feel sad because I know there is also no more slacking around with good friends, no more talking cock in the lab with crappy people, no much chances of good friends covering up for each other anymore, no more skipping school together and laughing about it together, no more nothing.

Good times and bad times were shared among some best buddies. Its time we really start thinking about the future. Guys will be enlisting one after another, girls who wants to continue studying will do so, while some just wanna start working. Life is really changing.

I dont know, but of course, all of us grew, its been 3 damn years. This change came too fast, so soon that i wasnt really able to prepare myself enough to face it. Well, nothing lasts forever isnt it, any party will eventually come to an end.

But how I wish time could stay like this forever. I just wish I can stay Forever Young.

Feeling terrible.

2008-12-16T22:50:00.000+08:00

Life hasn't been good lately, I don't know how to explain everything, its not things easy to understand. Its been a bad year, a very bad one definitely. I'm glad the year is ending pretty soon, and I hope the next will be some what better. Man, I just need to get out of all this shit holes to some place, for a short while, to sort everything out. Its tiring to keep everything inside, really.

day before doomsday, FYPJ.

2008-11-23T19:34:00.001+08:00

last day at work, still slacking hahaha.

its been fast, IPP is over.

baaa. life is boring :(

bye.

last day at Malifax.

2008-11-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

its currently 7.56pm. I'm in the office right now, doing my last OT on my last day of my 3 months attachment at Malifax. I'm supposed to be picking up calls and helping people with love but surprisingly this Friday night, phone calls doesn't seem to be coming in. Anyway, I'm sort of having some mixed emotions as im typing this, flashbacks running through my mind constantly.

I still remember the very first day I came for work, not knowing anyone in this office, other than my attachment partner. Everyone seemed so cool and cold blooded, how cool is that. Anyway, I just served my last walked-in customer and oh, Ms Cindy just popped by and said "Good luck Shiwei, all the best !" Oh well, all this is kinda making me feel abit sad about leaving. But anyway, thats just how it is isn't it, people come and go, part and parcel of life, blablabla.

I would say that for the 3 months I was here, tons of things happened, be it at work or not. It was definitely one of the most difficult phase of my life. Well, i managed to pull through and still smile every night before i sleep and every morning before i leave for work. Honestly speaking, I was dreading work in the beginning stages and i wished that the 3 months would end at the speed of light. And strangely, on this very official last day at work, i wondered. I was never a person like this, and I seriously don't know whats going on.

Touching on that, actually I was never a person who knows what exactly I want. I lived my life day from day, day to day, day by day. I know I was happy in the past, well, not exactly that happy, but certainly much happier than I am now. I mean, I am very contented about what I already have now, but I know theres still something lacking, and its always been like this.

I guess time flew past too quietly and cruelly. I was never good at goodbyes, and I know I never will be, if you can actually catch what I really meant. Ahh, this post is craps, bye.

prawn.

2008-10-27T16:05:00.001+08:00

ytd night was prawning at feng's farm.

see te guy in that gay red singlet?

yeah, hes the young-boss of the farm.

we waited and waited and waited...

then ben shouted "hoi hoi hoiii prawnn lehhhh !!"

damn fucking funny i tell you.

anyway ben is the botak.

thats me, concentrating.

actually i was very sad coz i caught only like 4 prawns.
anyway prawning is fun, real fun.
heres a picture of ben's leg in the fish spa thingy.
i swear theres fucking alot of fishes. scary.

okay bye.

2/3 done with IPP.

2008-10-25T17:54:00.001+08:00

d-day

2008-10-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

i am very tired.

tired about thinking of all the shit.

too much going on recently.

i am very tired.

week 7 of IPP.

2008-10-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

attachment pretty much sucked. doing the same shit everyday and saying the same few sentences over and over is seriously driving me up the wall. been covering up peoples' asses and its doing me no good at all. i hate they way people do things but all i can do is just keep my mouth shut. ive never been sure of what i actually want. its like a standstill, and i wish time could actually stop for a while for me to have more fresh air. ive been missing school, like seriously. nowadays i think back about my life in poly and i tend to smile to myself, weird.

i miss my buddies in sch, L and F. i can still recall countless times where by i screwed up and how L never fails to help me cover my ass and at the end of the day, we'll still laugh like crazy together. but he screws me up too at times but i dont give a shit about that coz i'll gladly cover his like how he always did about mine. F has always been the listening ear and she still is. she takes almost all the nonsense and craps i give and in return, she gives me hers so i think its perfectly fair. shes the one im so used to talking to whenever im confused or whenever i needed to sort out some thoughts. shes the brain. i rmb looking forward about going to sch coz i know i have L and F with me. but time passed too soon too quietly and too cruelly so we went our seperate ways, into different specialized paths. we dont see each other anymore. well, i guess thats life. but, at times, i still think of both of yall and smile. i dont really know why, may be its coz 3 of us are just mad.

ive been feeling really frustrated and pissed without any reason recently. i hope i'll be back to normal pretty soon coz this isnt exactly a good feeling. ive been lacking sleep major and ive been dreaming alot about the past. people say, you dream coz you think. im not sure. i hope those shit aint coming back coz i know its gonna screw me up again. goodnight.

adult resignation.

2008-09-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

ADULT RESIGNATION

I hereby officially tender my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 7 year old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with water colors in art. I want to lie under a big Oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers' day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset.

I want to think that the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in my youth, I matured and I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death. I learned of a world where men left their families to go and fight for our country, and returned only to end up living on the streets, begging for their next meal. I learned of a world where children knew how to kill, and did.

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball?

I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again. I want to return to the days when reading was fun and music was clean. When television was used to report the news or for family entertainment and not to promote sex, violence and deceit.

I remember being naive and thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find. I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money for brands.

I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.

I want to be 7 again.

Bird Park

2008-09-07T17:23:00.000+08:00

so on saturday after work, sis and gerard picked me up from my work place,

with my shorts, tshirt, slippers and my favourite cap.

and since i didnt really have anything planned,

i followed them to the bird park !

its been like, 10 yrs? oh well.

if you think that the zoo is smelly,

the bird park is like easily 100x worse, and im serious.

i nearly died a few times.

the ony climax of the entire trip will be the dont-know-what loft,

where we purchased this small cup of dont-know-what juice upon entry,

to feed the birds that are flying all around.

omg i tell you, DO NOT be fooled by those cute little colourful birds.

all of them are actually minions from hell in disguise.
well just let the pictures do all the talking then, you'll eventually understand what i mean.

gerard was trying to eat the bird.
and he ate it.

okay heres a video of a total-loser for all of your entertainment.

see i told yall the birds are scary.

they tried to attack me.

k bye.

why

2008-08-29T18:14:00.000+08:00

you seem so surreal.

you always appear at the most ungodly phases, tell me why.

you screw the wirings in my brain everytime i see you.

you make me confuse myself.

you make my legs go jelly.

you made me a fool.

you made my heart raced at the speed of light.

i know i shouldnt be like that.

but too bad,

you are Venomous, you are the Poison.

and you'll always be.

sigh.

2008-08-27T15:33:00.000+08:00

sigh.

*err thats not me in the pic.*

boohoo

2008-08-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

sis and i.

SMILEEE.

boohoo, boring day.

life at 19

2008-08-15T03:35:00.000+08:00

life at 19, its hard to explain. its as complicated as a combination of many small components and elements and which will then add up to it, but some just prefer to see it as simple as a matter of attitude towards it.

its so different from the past, when you can do so much without thinking much and get into all sorts of trouble, knowing that at the end of the day, nothing much will happen to you. the heart to seek excitement and thrill slowly dies down and you'll find yourself easily satisfied, or should i say, given up on most things. through all setbacks and difficulties, the fear of landing in the same kind of shitty situations holds me back in certain stuffs, be it personal of friends. and yes, friends, definitely a thing highly ranked in my life. im glad they were there when i needed them, though usually during those times, they dont sense anything. well, thats just guys. although its not like the past, when we used to hang out almost everyday. i try to be the best of friend i can be at times but its really hard and tiring when you realized you might be the only person trying so hard, which made me understand that everyone carries a certain amout of expectations for themselves, as well as responsibilities.

talking about responsibilities, its another strong factor thats leading my life into a different direction now. things i do, words i say, i must be responsible. as much as i wanna do things my way, do things the way i like, i feel that im always restricted. i dont wanna let anyone down, especially my parents and my sister. i know i cant be the perfect son and brother to them, but i try to please them as much as possible. i dont wanna be the under achiever which is what exactly i am now, but i know its gonna be hard, another heavy responsibility. i know theyre disappointed in me at times in the past, but they just dont tell me about it, simply because they know they can trust me and everntually i'll learn from all my mistakes, hopefully.

one thing i hate is that people tend to take things for granted. i tried to be nice to people in the past but bastards and bitches just wont fail to surface in my life and screws the peace. im not someone whos petty though. may be you know who you are, and i just wanna say, "Thanks, for screwing up my life, then."

everythings neither here nor there now. i used to wish for someone to come by and lead me on but i just dont understand why time and time again, its always the wrong kind of person. some might say im hard to understand and they desperately wanna know whats on my mind every minute, coz im just too mysterious a person. i do wish for that special person who trully understands me to come by but it seems kinda impossible. its such a superficial world out there, and it scares me. ive learnt to differentiate but i chose to keep quiet everytime. by keeping quiet, some tried to climb all the way up to my head, and it just turns me off. people are just so two-faced nowadays, and eventually it'll reach a certain stage where by you wont even know whos that person anymore. in my life, ive encountered many who tried to hide certain facts and truth about themsselves in order to keep their angelic image.i hate exposing them, not because im one of them, but i see no point in hurting them and then in the end, its me who eventually gets hurt. just another reason why i seldom open myself up to people, except some good friends.

life is pretty meaingless isnt it, to me at least. ive seen through many people in my 19 years, and its already at a stage where by those i can really trust are only my family and that handful of friends who walked alongside me and guided me through the years willingly. and im glad.

SKINNY IS THE NEW SEXX!

2008-07-30T23:28:00.001+08:00

skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex ! skinny is the new sex !

hell yeah !

The REAL meaning.

2008-07-28T21:23:00.001+08:00

What Ng Shiwei Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.

You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.

You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-07-27T20:35:00.000+08:00

YAYNESS TO GWEN NG YING QI !

(graduated with a Second Upper Honors in Communications Studies)

so god damn happy for her.

Vivian and I.

I was refusing to listen to her, taking a proper picture.
And before my sis and I could take a proper picture,
this uncle gracefully walked right in between the camera and us.
I swear we wanted to kill.

Yay !
Yay family.
How can we forget Gerard.
Yay a happy family.

okay im dreading my last presentation tomorrow.

bye.

22-7-2008

2008-07-22T00:24:00.000+08:00

Seems like we cant really get everything going smoothly everytime isnt it. When you thought that a certain problem is resolved, another appears right in your face. Its just like playing a game of pool.

Its not everytime that you'll get the perfect placing, and then you'll have to try harder to get the nicest placing you can get on the next ball. Its just like how things dont go as smoothly as the way you expect it to be. And when sometimes when you're off form, the lack of luck, you cant pot no shit. Its also exactly like how at times in life you're down on your luck and things just doesnt go your way. Well, wad can we do. Theres not a single player on earth who gets perfect placing after every single pot, just like how no one can always expect things to go the way you want it.

Mr. Lek Zheng Kang aka Ben.

Mr. Yang Yuan Feng.

Of course, Mr. Ng Shiwei.

So at the end of the day,

are you game for a round of pool?

16-7-2008

2008-07-16T19:50:00.000+08:00

had always been someone who tries to give people around him all that he can give, not really hoping that he will be repaid or whatever. sometimes its hard to understand what people are really thinking and its even harder to understand the actual reasons behind a particular action. or there isnt really any reason to start with, just a random surge of emotions affecting even the happiest person alive. nah. for everything, there will be a reason. but doesnt really matter isnt it. being a person who gets whatever he ever wanted in his hands feels good initially, but slowly the thrill and excitment fades and at the end of the day, everything still feels extremely emtpy. had always been a person who goes about doing things the way he wanted, neglecting how people around him will feel. knowing its not really that good a thing, its still diffcult to correct it. its just there. had always been a person whos no good at all in expressing himself through beautiful words. the fear, the pessimistic view about the outcome. things might be different if that wasnt the case, oh well, who knows. its hard to wake up everyday knowing that its all the same old routine again. its hard to fall asleep knowing that its all the same old routine again. its even harder to look into the mirror, looking at a person with totally no clue as to what he wants. hmmm may be all that he asks is to be able to understand people more. good thing or bad thing, doesnt matter. time flies, time doesnt wait for anyone. either you catch it at that very instant or its wasted. alright, just spent 10 mins typing craps.

what is it that im truly after, come, tell me.

15-7-2008

2008-07-15T19:04:00.000+08:00

hmmmmm..

be right back.

9-7-2006

2008-07-09T16:39:00.000+08:00

Please kindly click play, comon.

When you're so so so bored and sick of projects,
what would you do?

I'll stone.

And do some stretching.

And become a Rockstar !

this is damn lame goodbye.

2008-07-05T00:18:00.000+08:00

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me ...

3-7-2008

2008-07-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

Alright i've figured its time i post some picture, just to make my blog look more alive. So here i am, and i shall introduce some of the people that makes school craps for me.

right firstly theres of course ME,

Ng Shiwei

I was engrossed in some magazine.

Its the sex magazine thats given free to anyone in campus on monday HAHA.

Alright here is the legendary Luqman,
mun the bun.

This is Hafizah,

fiza the pizza.

She is always doing stupid things, like trying to take a picture of my shoes.
or may be my sexy legs.

okay guess afterall its my shoes.

Xinting, playing checkers on msn.

and why am i pissed. i forgot.

Here is Weiting asking Mr. Lim some questions.

Mr. Lim is a part-time lecturer and he is nice.

Aright the 3 of them. discussing where to have lunch.

Okay kinda getting bored and im lazy to upload more.

Peace kk everyone iibrow.

YAY NO SCHOOL TOMORROW !

okay bye.

2008-06-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

On the track of life,

when you get a friend who cares more about your fall than his own pants,

the journey just becomes easier.

25-6-2008

2008-06-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

Term break is over and school is as usual i guess, still trying my best to get back to the normal school life. I hope this time round i can really enjoy going to school because school is so gonna be history real soon. Seriously, school is really quite a nice place actually, a place where I can hang out with my friends and even just walk around aimlessly and find myself feeling happy. I'm glad we were given the chance to grow and become better individuals together, my friends.

Well since school is still as boring, and I dont really work that hard, I ended up with just too much time, so much that i started thinking about the past. I believed I've changed quite alot, like from a hot tempered monster to someone who is so relaxed nowadays. Well, may be its cause I'm much older now and i tend to think much more before i do anything.

Been talking alot with my dad recently. I told him ALL my problems, i mean EVERYTHING, an he can actually relate. Seriously, i dont see this day coming but oh well, im glad i did. He told me stories about his young and dangerous days, kinda shocked. Well, he was once young. I'm trully grateful ive such a dad, who never fails to give me support whenever i needed any, even when im in the wrong. He taught me how to become a better man, not failing my duties as a son, not disappointing my mum. Most importantly, always believing in my own dreams and to try my best to fulfill them while on the other hand, not letting anyone down. He taught me how i should behave as a Man and not doing things that will hurt others, not getting too impatient into things as the right time will defintely come, just a matter of how soon. Cause of my dad, I am proud to say I know how to behave, though this sounds lame HAHA. I'll never forget a sentence he told me,
"just fucking do whatever you want, but make sure you wont regret it in future. NEVER will."
He does his very best to support the whole family, be it financially or spiritually. He is exactly how a Man should be and I hope I'll become like my dad in future. I love my dad.

Mum is being very nice lately too, ever since the big disagreement we had and dragged since ages ago. She is a typical housewife, controlling spendings of the entire family and saving up whatever thats left at the end of the month. However, my dad, my sis and me tends to spend money like water, not giving a single shit. HAHA, okay not very good. She nags at my spendings, which sometimes when i think back, it is really too too too much and pointless. She nags at me for living the day like the night, and vice versa. I hope she understands that i young and i love to play. I've explained things to her and its really nice of mum to give me a smile and says she understands. My mum showed me the beauty of being frugal and taught me how importantly it is to save up for the future. But I'm sad to say that up till this current point in my life, I've NEVER saved any money but I promise I will try to start now. Whenever I go out at night, mum doesnt sleep till i reached home safely. Though she just stays in her room, silently waiting for me to come back safely before she turns in, I know. I've made her worried in the past, when i was still a ignorant teenager who is not really that good a person still. Being kinda more mature now, I made a promise with myself, never to let her down again.
I love my mum.

Sis started working not long ago, since she had already finished her studying at NTU. Though at times I dont see her for a couple of days, (coz she wakes up earlier to go to work, and sleeps earlier while I was still out) she never fails to take all my nonsense, like how I took hers. She never fails to nag about her potato chips because I never fail to steal it from her room and finishing it all myself HAHAHA. I love her too.

When the day comes where by I'm considered a good person/friend/classmate/buddy etcetc, I wanna thank my lovely family. I owe it to my family. They are the ones who stood by me through all of my dark ages, and never fails to forgive me whenever I did something wrong. They taught me how to differentiate between black and white, right and wrong.

Life is back to normal now, back to square one. Everythings cool. Never shall it be like before, just like how lame it is when your mom asks you to keep your dead cat as a souvenir -_-. Totally pointless. Well, people come and go i guess, oh well. Shiwei shall try to be satisfied with whatever that comes his way, and not blaming God for everythings that not meant to be.

I've always been a person who tries to do whatever I want and feel like while on the other hand, not having any regrets in the future. Sadly, I do have a few regrets about my life. Too bad, I was just too impatient/simple minded/couldn't care less. Anyway its over and I'm shocked I typed so much in 5 mins, my fingers didnt stop moving since the first word. Good bye.

Oh yeah, Shiwei is glad you're happy now because he believes we were both just bored of life and seeks something fresh.

18-6-2008

2008-06-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

I know there is something better for me

Where the grass is greener

Where I can hold up my head high

Where I can feel the warmth of the sun

Maybe it's not so far away

Maybe all I need to do is open my eyes

Maybe it's all in my point of view

Maybe it's right under my nose

Where the grass can be greener if you believe it.

17-6-2008

2008-06-18T02:20:00.000+08:00

Blame it all on my stupidity. I'm so fuckin' gonna hate starting from now. NOW.

16-6-2008

2008-06-16T01:29:00.001+08:00

Its a boring day, so over MSN, fiza and I decides to update on a very interesting topic, "What 5 things will I do if I'm a girl." And of course for her, vice versa. Okay so I started thinking, and below are my conclusions:

1) I wanna wear super tight jeans and not look gay.
2) I want my room painted PINK.
3) Wear Polka-Dots dress and go to Mambo Night at Zouk.
4) Learn how to ride a bike beacuse female bikers = hawwwtness.
5) Collect accessories.

zomg its damn lame k byee.

12-6-2008

2008-06-13T03:04:00.000+08:00

Holidays are boring and it makes Shiwei the unhappy boy, much more unhappy. Hence, he went out to shop till his heart's content to try and make himself feel happier. Apparently, he still feels unhappy and he doesnt know why. He means he knows but he chose not to know coz he doesnt wanna know and so lets just pretend he dont know. cool.

Shiwei's been desperately trying to figure out what he wants actually. He then figured things dont usually go the way people want them to, and its not gonna be like time and time again that things goes the way he wants. He hope and believe he is gone for good this time, which he then thinks that might not be seriously what he wants, but hes got no other direction to head to. oh well, what to do?

Shiwei says just fuck it, like seriously.

2008-06-10T16:05:00.000+08:00

Sensitive Doer (SD)

Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like their privacy. With their quiet, optimistic nature, they are also good, sought-after listeners and other people feel well in their company. All in all, this type is the most likeable and friendliest of all personality types. Tolerance and heir regard for others distinguish their personality. They are very caring, generous and always willing to help. They are open to and interested in everything that is new or unknown to them. However, if their inner value system or their sense of justice is hurt, Sensitive Doers can suddenly and surprisingly become forceful and assertive.

Sensitive Doers enjoy the comforts life offers to the full. They are very happy in everyday life. Sensitive Doers are often gifted artists or very good craftsmen. Creativity, imagination and an especially keen perception are just a few of their strong points. Sensitive Doers are very presence-oriented; long-term planning and preparations do not appeal to them. They take life as it comes and react flexibly to daily demands. They do not like too much routine and predictability. Their talents come more to the fore when work processes are variable and there are not so many rules. Sensitive Doers like to work alone; if they are part of a team, they do not get involved in competitive or power games and prefer living and working together harmoniously and openly.

Sensitive Doers are completely satisfied with a small, close circle of friends as their need for social contacts is not very marked. Here, too, they avoid conflicts - quarrels and disputes put considerable strain on them. Sensitive Doers are often very fond of animals and are very good with small children. As partner, this type is loyal and reliable and is willing to invest a lot in a relationship. Mutual respect and tolerance are very important to Sensitive Doers. Their love of pleasure makes them a pleasant companion with whom one can experience intensive moments. They like to look after their partner with attentiveness and small gifts and are very sensitive to the partner’s needs - often more than to their own. However, should they meet the wrong person, they run the risk of being taken advantage of. They are then deeply disappointed.

Adjectives which describe your type:

introverted, practical, emotional, spontaneous, sensitive, peace-loving, reserved, gentle, good-natured, independent, empathetic, friendly, playful, carefree, sympathetic, relaxed, quiet, modest, pleasure-loving, loyal, obliging, caring, helpful, optimistic

These subjects could interest you:

art, music, craftwork, garden work, animals, nature, literature, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, music, handicrafts, writing

Try it, might be true for you too :)
http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html

2008-06-08T14:58:00.000+08:00

fuck.

HIATUS

bye.

8-6-2008

2008-06-08T01:41:00.000+08:00

its me who was just thinking too much.

waiting for something totally stupid.

wtf is fwrong with me.

and the cold feeling that makes one feel unwanted, totally anal.

goodbye.

5-6-2008

2008-06-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

Around 5 minutes ago, Shiwei's mind was filled with a bazillion things which he intended to blog it down. Hence he clicked IE and to blogspot, and cool, his mind went blank straight away. However so as to not waste his effort of signing-in into blogger, he shall blog the first 10 random things on his mind now. (Its rare coz he seldom let people know whats he thinking.)

1) He loves his mummy, daddy, and jie jie.
2) He is secretly sad its the holidays alr coz no school means no alot-of-things.
3) He hates RnB.
4) He feels that his life is empty.
5) He wants a new file.
6) He hopes it rains tonight.
7) He miss the times at Chiang Mai.
8) He wants to shop but he is fucking lazy.
9) He misses you. may be?
10) He dont know what he wants exactly.

Anyway, its amazing how people can stand right up so steadily so soon, right after a huge huge fall. He wished he could too, do that. He is taking his time but something feels wrong. How should he put it, like may be without you, time is a standstill.

2008-06-04T19:11:00.000+08:00

you know at times, you tend to head any direction you can find,

just to escape from a problem.

however, the worst part is,

you go a fucking big round and comes back to the same spot.

when its just a fucking detour.
.
so now,

tell me, show me, guide me.

i wanna carry on.

2-6-2008

2008-06-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

The Fray - How To Save A Life (from Grey's Anatomy)

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life..

31-5-2008

2008-06-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

Shiwei went out for a walk just now. He took whatever bus that came to the bus stop first and dropped at which ever bus stop he feels like. He then walked and walked and walked till he unknowingly, reached some where near Clark Quay. He figured he wanna sit down, so he walked some more till he reached Esplanade, dont know why.

With his mp3 on, Guns & Roses - Knockin' On Heaven's Door was playing as he sat down and lit a cigarette. Many people walked by, couples, families, random people. Shiwei enjoys observing people, yes thats right. He sat there for like 2 hour or so, till he figured he wanna walk more than he wanna sit down.

He stood up, Edge Of Time - Scorpions was playing as he walked back towards Clark Quay. On the way, he passed by this underpass where an old man was playing saxophone. Shiwei unplugged his ear piece and stood there, listening to him play Kenny G's The Moment. What a heavenly tune he thought, but of course, not as good as the original's. Shiwei then dropped a 10 dollars note into his case and walked off.

Walking towards Clark Quay, he saw a very sweet couple, a drunk indian man, and a caucasian borrowed lighter from him. He reached the train station, and he figured he should head home. He then boarded the train and sat at the corner. Opposite him was this another couple, and the girl seemed pissed with the guy. She pinched him, as in seriously, like, whatever lol.

Soon, he reached home and he is feeling hungry. So he called for Mac's Delivery and so now, he is sitting at the living room, blogging, waiting for food.

What an exciting life.

31-5-2008

2008-05-31T01:53:00.000+08:00

thanks for everything.

you've no idea what you've actually done.

29-5-2008

2008-05-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

Right, so everything came to an end a few moments ago. He hopes everything goes well for you and not to worry, he will be alright after a while. May be he is just not fated for this kind of stuff. Like what Jaz told him, "probably just after something fresh?" He then figured he is no longer fresh. Well, part and parcel of life isnt it? Right.

Anyway, update on my life. Sis went to Hong Kong a week ago, and she texted me saying she bought me some gifts ! I am seriously excited about that. Oh and tomorrow will be meeting up with the usuals at Vila Bali, hope everything goes well and no last minute changes again.

School has been a total pain in the ass with all the tests and stuffs, I am dreading school everyday single day. Right, thats bad.

Shiwei is tired, been quite long since he slept well. Hopefully starting from this very night, he will be free from all the random thoughts and sleeps well. Rest well Shiwei, rest well.

24-5-2008

2008-05-24T19:34:00.000+08:00

cause you had me believin'...

22-5-2008

2008-05-22T00:30:00.000+08:00

thought i found a new direction, a new direction in life.

so i happily walked towards it.

soon, i realize something was wrong.

kinda lost, i dont know where to go next.

hence i looked up, hoping God will give me some hints.

right, now im clear.

21-5-2008

2008-05-21T01:39:00.001+08:00

im feeling so fucked up right now, and i dont know why. i know how i feel but its so difficult to pinpoint and bring it across. i wanna blog it down coz i know i'll feel much better but i dont really know how to put everything into simple words.

erm, alright, basically, its like you see this particular t-shirt in the shop and you fell in love with it instantly. you asked the sales person for your size but its sold out. SIAN. okay then youre informed that there MAY BE another batch of stocks coming in a few days' time. so you get high and excited and everything, coz you see this glimpse of hope, of getting your hands on that t-shirt.

so after a few days, you happily went back to the shop AND REALIZED THE COLOUR YOU WANT IS NOT AVAILABLE, AND NEVER WILL BE. how do you feel?

SIAN, JIT TAO SIAN.

wells the scenario is not what exactly happened, its just an example about how i am feeling right now. i feel so stupid. fuck it. bye

19-5-2008

2008-05-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

Beyond Story Live 2005.

hmmm, you? nah.

15-5-2008

2008-05-16T03:00:00.000+08:00

Right, so Shiwei is still alive after all the school stress and boring life he has. He is doing fine and getting high on extra Red Bulls lately, with some small dosage of chocs here and there. Time came to a standstill recently, while he find himself stucked in something which he never thought will ever happen to him. He is lazy and dont wish to explain so just shut and dont ask anything.

Its weird because Shiwei has always been clear of what he wants, but he is struggling in the sub-conscious state where by he is desperately trying to figure out what he really wants. So far so good? nah, he doesnt know what he wants still.

Liberty stand still. Tons of things on his mind, as usual. He feels like getting rid of everything spinning around in his head but he knows he cant. Shiwei isnt sure. He feels like hes being trapped in this bird cage, with the gate wide open, but he isnt really sure whether to get out or not. Retrospect? fuck.

Shiwei is having a major headache now, while he is typing through this entry. He just ate 4 panadols and had 2 canns of Red Bulls not long ago, and he is feeling extremely giddy. But he cant sleep.

13-5-2008

2008-05-13T15:15:00.000+08:00

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey, hey, hey
hey, hey, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey, hey
mmmm.....
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey, hey, hey
yea...

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself...

10-5-2008

2008-05-10T13:44:00.000+08:00

Father:
it's not time to make a change,
just relax, take it easy.
you're still young, that's your fault,
there's so much you have to know.
find a girl, settle down, if you want you can marry.
look at me, i am old, but i'm happy.

i was once like you are now, and i know that it's not easy,
to be calm when you've found something going on.
but take your time, think a lot,
why, think of everything you've got.
for you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

Son:
how can i try to explain, when i do he turns away again.
it's always been the same, same old story.
from the moment i could talk i was ordered to listen.
now there's a way and i know that i have to go away.
i know i have to go.

Father:
it's not time to make a change,
just sit down, take it slowly.
you're still young, that's your fault,
there's so much you have to go through.
find a girl, settle down,
if you want you can marry.
look at me, i am old, but i'm happy.

Son:
all the times that i cried, keeping all the things i knew inside,
it's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
if they were right, i'd agree, but it's them you know not me.
now there's a way and i know that i have to go away.
i know i have to go.

1-5-2008

2008-05-02T01:26:00.000+08:00

2008-04-23T18:45:00.000+08:00

[Glorentiqa] says:
see what fudin say la

[Glorentiqa] says:
if she got bf, then FORGET it at ALL COST

[Glorentiqa] says:
if no bf, try befriend her

[Glorentiqa] says:
next step; think for yourself

- shiwei says:
dont need teach me pls

- shiwei says:
im skilled ibrow.

[Glorentiqa] says:
yeaaaa righttt

- shiwei says:
just that i nvr use only

- shiwei says:
HAHA

[Glorentiqa] says:
ya ya

[Glorentiqa] says:
dont study theories only le. do practical

- shiwei says:
tsk

[Glorentiqa] says:
learn from me. befriend all guys, then from there, choose

[Glorentiqa] says:
like play kite

[Glorentiqa] says:
u pull pull, then let go

[Glorentiqa] says:
ibrow.

- shiwei says:
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

14-04-2008

2008-04-15T00:57:00.000+08:00

So school started, first day of school today. Its Year 3 so naturally I expected changes, changes like different classes, new classmates, familiar faces that i dont get to see that often anymore and the list just goes on. Sadly, school didnt go well a single bit, and im utterly disgusted. Hardly able to catch up with what the lecturer is talking about, screwed up timetable, big classes, unfriendly faces and drifted friends.

Its always times like this where by i feel that there is no point in going to school. I mean, i dont feel happy going to school like in the past, i no longer got many friends to cheer me up when im feeling blue, no more going home together and no longer speaking as much in school. Its such a bore to go to school now, seriously. Im dreading school like mad, and its only the first day.

And then it leads to me thinking about my future. I've got zero clue about whats gonna happen next time. Grades and GPA which is as low Flo Rida feat T-Pain, not much skills on hand, no interest in anything and not knowing what me myself exactly wants is the worst. Hence its always times like that when i feel like giving up on myself. This feeling is just so intense that practically nothing interests me or makes me happy.

Ahhh, and suddenly, that small little gesture from you cheered me up. You might not know it, its just like promising me heaven when im just a step away from hell. You reminded me that i can face anything and everything just starting from a smile. Thanks, to you :)

13-4-2008

2008-04-13T20:40:00.000+08:00

Right, so school is starting tomorrow morning, and im damn freaking sad about that. but oh well, its just a matter of sooner or later isnt it. Hope that this new semester i'll be able to up up up up up my grades and get a good GPA at the end, wish me luck.

So finally, ive got hold of all the pictures of my YEP trip, and man, its like 2 discs and around 8GIG. yeah dig that. I've browsed through all of it and had chosen some to post it here, as promised. I know its a little too late, coz its like a few more days to hit a month since im back HAHA. Better late then never okay, so please appreciate coz its the first time im spending so much time editing photos, and uploading them to this damn blog. grrrr.

ahh, and yes, i just disabled the disabling of the right mouse click on my blog, so whoever thats here can feel free to right click on any images, and New Tab/Window, to ease your browsing of the photos. Cheers !

Behold ! Image-heavy entrey ahead !

Oh yeah, dig that farmer ibrow.

Apparently, mirror is a rare item in our entire group of 20 people.

And the lucky me found this sexy mirror ibrow.

But its quite embarrassing to use it HAHA, but oh well, lol.

Thats me and the Smart + Handsome kid of the village.

Me and many other kids of the village.

River-rafting.

JJ, my bestie.

Elephant ride on the second last day, we were damn excited at first.

But it takes about 72 hours from start to end.

Playground with big kids.

Oh cool.

Visit to the temple.

Tasted the first sip of coka cola in 2 weeks.

I love flowers, personally.

On our way to farm. LOL.

Am i cool or what. yes.

JJ and me, with some kids.

Right, second person, Pamela, aka JUM.

For those who dont know her, i tell you all, shes one of a kind la tsk.

Check this.

Let the pictures do all the talking then.

Visit to the temple, JJ, Pam, me.

LOLLLLLLLLLLL.

Right, then theres Oriana.

Are we handsome or what. yes.

JJ, Oriana, me.

Me and Cheryl.

Must be the food.

Me and Pris.

Alesia and me.

Me and Ee Jie.

Thats our boss, Mr Moses Koh.

2 botaks. ibrow.

Me and Miss Cher.

Our translator, the beloved Uncle Vichien.

Seettha, Yanting and me.

Me, Pam, Cheryl and JJ.

Pam, me, Oriana, JJ and Jun Hao.

Me, Pam, Oriana and JJ

Sorry and once again, the 4 of us.

Thats our cook in red, Miss Aye.

Halfway on our trek from our village to the other village, which is mountains away !

Jun Hao, JJ, me and Chin.

Our farming day, we were supposed to act cool in this picture.

But, oh well HAHA. Try and spot me.

Some other random pictures.

Cultural Night, with the kids, translators, and folks from the village.

Outside the Youth Hostel, the morning we're supposed to fly back to Singapore.

Right im tired. Next time i guess. Bye

2008-04-07T03:05:00.000+08:00

FUCKING BLOGGER JUST DELETED MY FUCKING LONG POST WHICH I SPENT 1 HR WITH JUST CUZ OF THIS DONT KNOW WTFF ERROR OMG IM SO PISSED SHIWEI IS DAMN PISSED.

But i shall cool down because im a very peaceful, friendly, forgiving, kind person, and lastly also because, I am Ng Shiwei. ibrow.
Well, my lil'cuzzie, Apple, has got some words. Check.

THANKS ! :))

21-3-2008

2008-03-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

well im back for quite sometime alr, but ive yet to get hold on all the pictures taken there at chiangmai. so yeah, guess i'll update again when ive all the pictures. in the mean time, heres an angry picture of me. nah just kidding, i dont know wassup with that face too.

and the big-time LABOURMAN.

okay bye, shall be back with more peeektures.

1-3-2008

2008-03-02T01:41:00.000+08:00

good bye. back on the 16th.

25-2-2008

2008-02-25T18:20:00.000+08:00

right, so finally, everything is done. took my last exam paper this morning, which marks the end of semester 2 of year 2. initially, i thought i'll be so so happy to get everything over and done with, but while i walked out of the exam hall when everyone is still burrying their heads into the exam paper, i felt this small bit of sadness. saw some familiar faces, faces that i wouldnt get to see anymore anytime soon after today. damn, still cant really get the fact that poly is so called semi-over. seriously during year 1, i thought i wouldnt get to know any good friends or whatever in poly, except 1 guy who sadly, quitted school in year 1 -_-. but i do believe ive got at least a couple of friends-forever-kind-of-friends now, and im glad. okay im starting to sound gay so i shall stop with all this friends craps.

as i mentioned in the previous entry, im going to thailand this coming sunday. but ive still yet to pack my bag ! ive yet to buy all the stuffs needed ! everythings just so semi-completed and so i shall get my heavy ass down to my packing when im done wasting time blogging this meaningless entry.

anyway i just woke up after a 5hrs nap. i thought i'll feel damn energized but damn it, my neck is damn painful now. walao damn pain shit.

21-2-2008

2008-02-21T15:57:00.000+08:00

well its been major long since i last blogged, so in order to get my blogging mood back, ive decided to change my damn skin ! nah actually the main reasons is because many people complained they are sick of looking at my face in the previous skin, and i wanna keep myself occupied so i wont feel bad for not studying for my exams HAHAHA !

during my absence from this blog of mine, many things took place and i am actually quite lost about where to start. right, the major one would definitely be the the fact that im going to be in yr 3 the coming semester, which also means seperation from some of my good friends in school, coz we got into different specializations. yeah i know its kinda late to talk about this but seriously, i was never good at goodbyes. coz of those few crazy people, ive managed to put everything together got through the first 2 yrs smooth sailing. they've definitely helped me a shit lot, and i might be a burden to some. i mean, we cant possibly know whats on other people's mind but i do hope we can all forget about mistakes that occurred and carry on being very good friends. its kinda sad to know that people you played with in class, took bus to school with you, slapped your face, pinched you kicked you laughed at you and all, are mostly going on different paths and carry on with their very own lives. anyway, end of the day, its just another fact i gotta accept, and i wish you guys all the best man ! just another parcel of life i guess =)

im done with 2 exam papers, which means ive only got 1 left ! which is on next monday. AND AND AND ! next sunday will be the departure date for me to go on Project Sabai Sabai ! seriously im kinda looking forward to the trip, seriously seriously. i do hope for the 2 weeks there, i get to experience things i believe not everyone get to experience even in their entire lifetime, and when i get back, i will learn to appreciate everything more. people im telling you, we are damn fortunate to be singapore kids okay. damn it.

and damn it, more and more people are getting attached around me can. i seriously need to find a gf LOL. i mean, i want a gf, but i dont need one. and i need a gf, but i dont want one. see, i dont know what i want okay lagi best bye.

25-1-2008

2008-01-25T21:45:00.000+08:00

i was bored and since ive decided not to think about any school work today, i got nothing else to do. i was reading various people's blog when i came across a series of interesting questions on fiza's. i thought i should answer them and let you people know more about me. so, here goes.

HOW MANY KEYS ARE ON YOUR KEYCHAIN?
2. gate and main door's.

WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
used to be Fuck, but changed it to Mother now.

WHAT TIME IS YOUR ALARM CLOCK SET FOR?
i dont have an alarm clock.

DO YOU WEAR FLIPFLOPS EVEN WHEN IT'S COLD OUTSIDE?
i wear it everyday.

WHERE DO YOU BUY YOUR GROCERIES FROM?
i dont buy groceries.

WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE?
take. no doubt.

HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY?
everyone says that, but i dont think im lazy. wtf.

DID YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP FASTER?
no. i dont sleep.

DO YOU PREFER REGULAR MILK OR CHOCOLATE MILK?
i dont drink milk.

HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK?
yes. i mean no.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER?
still thinking.

CAN YOU WHISTLE?
i whistle to attract girls. ibrow.

HAVE YOU EVER PARTICIPATED IN A PROTEST?
no. that is damn lame.

LAST RESTAURANT YOU ATE AT?
One Fullerton's.

WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY / WHERE WERE YOU?
went to school, then back home. slept throughout.

DID YOU WATCH CARTOONS AS A CHILD?
do you want me to slap you.

HOW MANY SIBLINGS DO YOU HAVE?
1 lovely elder sister.

ARE YOU SHY AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX?
i am super shy. i blush like theres no tomorrow.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST REGRET?
secret. LOL.

WHEN WAS THE TIME YOU LAUGHED SO HARD YOUR SIDES HURT?
at AMK's macCafe. a fat bitch wanted to whack her own friend.

HOW MANY CHAIRS ARE AT YOUR DINING ROOM TABLE?
6.

DO YOU READ FOR FUN?
NO.

DO YOU DO YOUR OWN DISHES?
sometime, when im forced to =(

WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR ROOM PAINTED?
light yellow but looks like white though.

HAVE YOU EVER CRIED IN PUBLIC?
NO. NEVER WILL. hmmm.

ARE YOU USING A DESKTOP OR LAPTOP?
laptop, her name is Techno Cat.

WHICH DO YOU MAKE: WISHES OR PLANS?
plans of course.

ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO LEARN NEW THINGS?
i wanted to, but i dont know where to start from.

ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?
nah. past that age.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE GUY SHOULD PAY ON A FIRST DATE?
definitely. if a guy dont pay, he has a pussy.

HAVE YOU EVER DATED SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR RACE?
no. why must i ?

WHAT IS THE WEATHER LIKE NOW?
DAMN COLD I TELL YOU.

WOULD YOU EVER DATE SOMEONE COVERED IN TATTOOS?
no. my mummy doesnt like bad girls.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CLASS BACK IN WHERE YOU USED TO STUDY?
english. my teacher from new zealand has hairs all over to the MAXING. damn interesting.

WHAT PERSONALITY TRAITS ARE A MUST-HAVE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
MUST possess the ability to tahan my craps.

HAVE YOU BEEN ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE PHYSICALLY UNATTRACTIVE?
do you want me to slap you.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR?
last night.

DOES YOUR CLOSEST STARBUCKS HAVE A DRIVE-THRU?
singapore's starbucks dont have drive-thrus.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
yes. no doubt.

HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?
i dont sleep.

DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?
my last breakfast was 2 yrs ago.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT SCARED YOU?
im NOT afraid of ANYTHING.

ARE YOUR DAYS FULL AND FAST-PACED?
sometimes. shall not elaborate.

DID YOU EVER GET IN TROUBLE FOR TALKING IN CLASS?
nah. teachers are scared of me. and i dont know why.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FRUIT?
banana. no doubt.

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING RIGHT NOW?
THE LAPTOP SCREEN WHAT ELSE. DO YOU WANT ME SLAP YOU.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?
yes. i believe theres another me on Venus. just as sexy.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO PISS YOU OFF?
i dont know. i dont get angry that often nowadays.

DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME OR OPPOSITE SEX?
equal on both sides. ibrow ibrow ibrow.

WHAT DO YOU TELL YOURSELF WHEN TIMES GET HARD?
its Tiger Time.

WOULD YOU EVER SKYDIVE?
someday i will. someday.

DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE, TUMMY, OR BACK?
i dont sleep.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ANGELINA JOLIE BEING PREGNANT?
lol that porn star is pregnant.

DO YOU ENJOY GIVING HUGS?
only to pretty girls. ibrow x10

WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE FASHIONABLE?
nah. i wear what im comfortable with.

DO YOU OWN A DIGITAL CAMERA?
im sharing one with my sis, but its always with her =(

WHAT CELEBRITIES HAVE YOU BEEN COMPARED TO?
LOL I DONT WANNA ACTION LA LOLL.

DOES IT ANNOY YOU WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY'LL CALL YOU BUT THEY NEVER DO?
dont ever do that to me. i will kill you.

ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN?
i crave for meat every second.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
nothing.

ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
sadly, YES.

alright thats all. kooties everyone, im going out alr woohoo. k bye.

15-1-08

2008-01-15T02:57:00.000+08:00

its currently 3am and im still awake.
and tmr i gotta wake up at 8am.
how? die.
.
school is such a shit hole seriously, with all the projects and tests.
i seriously doubt i'll still be alive by the end of it all.
but no worries my friends, all of your kooty, me, shall survive.
.
life is pretty much the same almost everyday.
wake up, go to school, come home, sleep at 3am.
and the same'ol cycle repeats everyday.
friends are busy with work, gfs, NS, school.
the boredom i get when im home everyday is killing me slowly.
but nvm, i shall still survive okay kooties.

see, im so bored that im blogging just to pass this 5 mins.

ps : Actually this post is up by POPULAR demand HAHAHAHA,

but it seems rather meaningless and crappy,

exactly like shiwei.

30-12-2007

2007-12-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

So it was the 2 days 1 night pulau UBIN trip.
and im so proud of myself to be able to survive that.
With all the dirt and dust, the bugs and toilet, for a moment i thought i was gonna die.
But i know i got no choice so i'll have to adapt to that, and i DID.

see, im happy =)

15-12-2007

2007-12-16T02:13:00.000+08:00

sorry my life is just so boring that i dont even know what to blog about. everyday is just the same old routine, sleeping sleeping and sleeping. but its my 2 weeks term break now so lets hope theres gonna be interesting stuff thats gonna happen real soon, till then everyone bye.

10-12-2007

2007-12-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

sometimes i cant help but feel that im leading such a hectic lifestyle in this 21st century. since young, we were taught by our parents that we should study study and study, to ensure that we can hopefully get a good job in the future. and if we dont study well, we wont be able to find a good job and then we wont have any income and we'll die, just die. man seriously fuck it.

how i wish i was born during the 70s, where trendy disco-retro-style clothings are all so so cheap. wake up everyday and just climb the tree to pluck some fruits, find some friends and play by the river. i wont have to go to school and study stuff like C#, NET.Framework. i'll just learn a skill and i would be able to earn my own bread.

the world now is really different and so intensed. terrorist attacks almost everyday in different past of the world, the depletion of the ozone layer and hence leading to global warming, and those never-ending disputes and wars regarding topics like nuclear researches and terrorists.

talking about war, i think it is something really stupid, lame, time consuming, money wasting and meaningless thing to happen. so what if you win, and if you lose. either ways, we're directly or indirectly causing harm to family members we love.

anyway, heres a inspiring song with a classic video which made a difference, back then.

8-12-2007

2007-12-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

omg im like fucking tired laaaa.
lack of sleep for 7 days straight, an average of 2.33 hrs per night !!
but im going out real soon HAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay heres a nice song with a cute video to share,
with whoever is still reading this semi-dead blog of mine.
CIAO ~

28-11-2007

2007-11-28T20:43:00.000+08:00

i believe God is fair, that theres always a reason behind things he does. Like the recent accident about the 5 dragon boaters, God took their physical for his keeping, but he placed their spiritual in everyone's memory. so God, PLS REMOVE MY PIMPLES. NOW THANKS.

26-11-2007

2007-11-26T12:50:00.000+08:00

tons of things are happening in my life right now and theres just another 934890328 things spnning in my mind. sometimes i wonder how come im such a failure and why is it that some people around me can live their lives so happily. (i mean im happy too, but just not as happy lol)
i blamed only myself for letting my life become such a boring one, and that it is just too simple a life. and sadly, its only gonna get worse.

time is fast moving, its nearing the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 alr.
times changed, people changed, locations changed. everything changed. and its gonna be more changes to come. i believe everyone is putting in effort to keep up with all the changes brought along by our age, but im not. im just taking it one step at a time. but who cares, the new rule to play is you do your thing and i'll do mine.

hmmm i dont know what else to say. bye then.

24-11-2007

2007-11-25T01:36:00.000+08:00

everything is taking a right-angle turn right now.

dont know if its for the good, or bad.

lets just hope that its cool.

kooties.

21-11-2007

2007-11-21T13:33:00.000+08:00

poooof !

just like that, our 1 week of e-learning week is over. its only the 3rd day of school and its HECTIC ! with all the upcoming tests and projects updating, im seriously feeling the stress already. PLUSSSSS, i can say i didn't really pick up anything yet, for this sem. man im dying so god pls save me.

with the 24hrs we have everyday, it may be enough for some, but definitely not me ! i always feel that im seriously lacking time, may be coz i simply spent too much time everyday just slacking or stoning or doing useless stuffs. hmm like may be watching downloaded movies or just some billiard videos on youtube. i think i've wasted enough time on those meaningless stuff, so yeah i've decided to get my ass down to studying after im done typing this time wasting entry.

to some, time may be money, time may be nothing. but to me, i can say time is my friend.
im trying my best in seeking that peaceful coexistence with her =)

17-11-2007

2007-11-17T05:26:00.000+08:00

since like 21398213098 years ago, my hatred for those foreign workers in singapore started to grow. especially those from bangladesh aka BANGALAS. I've encountered several incidents in the past where by i was so damn pissed with them that i wanna kill them on the spot. AND just now something happened AGAIN. coz its damn stupid and gross *Music from X-Files starts to play*

I was on my way home, walking. as usual, i walked pass this kind of short-cut route to get home. and from like may be 1,000,000 feets away. i sensed their presence. i saw 3 pairs or white eyeballs looking at me. the 3 of them were sitting by the roadside, drinking some cheap beer and sharing a stick of cigg. at this point of time, i thought i'll just heck care about them and carry on my walk home.

As i get nearer and nearer to them, ONE OF THE FUCKER FUCKING WINKED AT ME.
(FYI, in one of the past incident, one bangala winked at me and i fed him a tiger bottle.)
i was pissed, but i just pretended that i didn't notice. but that didn't just stop there. as i walked passed them, the 3 of them SMILED at me. (you know, not the normal kind of smile). ccb i was so fucking pissed, PISSSSSSED. but i just cant be bothered with them so i just carry on walking.

THEN ! one of them shouted "OEI BOII, WANNA GO PLAY TOGETHER??"
KNNBCCBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB !!!!!!!!!!
i swear i was so pissed that i wanna skin that bastard alive and dip him into salt water infested with leeches. but sadly i was alone and those 3 its just looked very fit. so i got no choice but to walk faster and walk away LOL. but i swear if some of my friends were with me, i'll kill that mother fucker.

just cant fucking understand why those gay its just love to disturb me so much. cb. puii.

15-11-2007

2007-11-15T20:26:00.000+08:00

he dreamt of liberty, he dreamt of peace.
then he dreamt of power that never came by.
he dreamt of family, he dreamt of friendship.
then he dreamt of love which shows no hope.
he dreamt of tomorrow, he dreamt of yesterday.
then he dreamt of time but he never lived today.
he dreamt of life, he dreamt of death.
then he dreamt of her while he chose not to.

but all the dreams he had never changed his fate.
its then he realized,
its comfort, freedom and tranquility that he truly seeks.

14-11-2007

2007-11-15T00:43:00.000+08:00

I just cant fucking stand your damn fucking arrogance. dont always project yourself as someone thats so much more superior than others pls, coz to me its a fucking turn-off. you talked to eveyone about how you think, this and that, and seriously i feel that youre still thinking like some small kid, with just may be 50% of your brain functioning. you try so hard to show people you're mature in your thoughts and again seriously, i think its all craps. so its time for you to fucking grow up, even its just a lil. learn to think more before you speak or do anything so you can end the misery you're giving us, and know that whatever you're doing now is only gonna bring more embarrassment to you in future. our planet doesn't spin just based on how much we get credited for things we do. so pls, get rid of that stupid mindset of yours, that you'll always be a superhero or saviour and that people will be thankful to you. no. we see you as stupid. fucking pissed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

went to town today to meet up with ben, feng and marcus. man its been long time and i must say it felt good. after some walking around and having dinner, we decided to play some pool.

OH MAN I SUCK REAL BAD PLS !

i think we should meet up more often for more sessions coz i seriously think we need to get our skills back ! so pls, comon. anyway i just got home not long ago and checked about school works to be done before school starts next week.

OH MAN ITS ALOT PLS !

and when school resumes to normal next week, there'll be lotsa tests going on and the weightage for all are very high ! and..

OH MAN I DONT KNOW ANYTHING PLS !

so now i think i'll have to do some elearning and study study study on everything that im unsure about. lets just hope i can understand and absorb so i can prepare myself for all the upcoming tests. CIAO~

13-11-2007

2007-11-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

Dear all,
Congratulations! We are very pleased to inform you that you have been selected to be part of the team Project Sabai Sabai to Chiangmai! As mentioned during our meetings/interviews, there will be many exciting activities leading to the actual expedition. However, we require everyone to be committed and responsible to make the entire project a meaningful and successful one. Please read this email carefully as it contains very important instruction and information:

1. Project Information
Date: 2 – 16 March 2008 (Depart SIN 2 mar, Depart Chiangmai 16 Mar)
Venue: Northern Chiangmai, Thailand
Scope: Teach English and computing skills to Hmong tribe, Other services as deemed suitable

WOO I GOT SELECTED ! hmm is it a good thing or a bad thing, i wonder. just hope that i can commit myself enough though. kooties !!

11-11-2007

2007-11-12T00:41:00.000+08:00

was reading some stuff from some where some time just now. it set me thinking real deep. thinking back about my life, i think i shall blog about whatever thats on my mind right now.

my friends and i, we did alot of stupid things together in the past, during our secondary school days. theres just too much of it,that i've lost count. and certainly, there were cases where by i really regretted what i did, and for some, i wish i did but i didn't. but seriously, i think theres just may be a handful of things which i really regretted, and i think thats alr quite enough.

its not some small thing like, oh i really regret buying this pair of jeans coz it sucks. its about things so big that i really wish some one could shoot me in the head and just kill me. why? coz everythings just too late right now. luckily my buds were there with me, we supported each other and hence we were lucky enough to have grown healthy and strong through the dark ages lol.

from 14 we became 15 and then 16 17 and now 18 going on 19. through these years, i saw, met, experienced, screwed up, got stabbed, fucked-up, been through ups and downs. things i did, people were not happy about. things people did, and i was equally pissed. god didnt grant us the ability to see through people's mind, coz he knows thats too lethal a weapon. so he decides that all man shall collect and compile all their experiences and learn from them. damn, i must say, i learnt alot.

that hollow feeling, when dealing friends. its giving me a really hard time to trust people now. i've seen far too many cases that the sub-conscious me is already waking up in attempt to take full control of my mind so he can kill everybody coz he believes shiwei can only trust himself. however, theres still a handful of buds i can count on.

my life is just plain boring right now. i dont even know wad i can do when im free. HELP !
i dont gamble, i dont play mahjong, i dont play as much pool as i used to play anymore, i dont meet up with my friends in town anymore, its been 200 yrs since we all went out together.
may be im just too used to this boring life of mine, coz nothing interests me anymore. i am lazy to style my hair when i go out, im lazy to dress nicely when i go out, im lazy to walk to the bus stop to take a bus, im lazy to get out of my house. i stay home and sleep almost everyday, and dream. wake up and go to school.

the pool playins days were gone, the drinking days were gone, the slacking days are semi-gone. i seriously dont know whats gonna happen to my life when everything and everyone is gone. but i dreamt of this guy that day, and he told me he is god. he told me not to worry about anything because everythings gonna be fine real soon, and took some faith of mine and kept it in his pocket.

10-11-2007

2007-11-11T05:25:00.000+08:00

we really shouldn't gamble. I always believe that out of 10 gamblers, only 9 will win, and the odd one out is only winning 1 out of 10 times. gambling can really destroy us, well not me, but someone else, coz i dont really gamble. hmmm, may be twice ever year. (i do buy 4D, its an investment.)

when you gamble, you wanna win money.
when you win, you'll become greedy.

its then when you start to lose more money.

when you lose money, you wanna win back your all your money.
when you wanna win back all your money, you lose even more.
when you lose even more, you'll borrow money from your friends, and gamble again.
when you gamble while you owe people lotsa money, you'll most probably lose more.
when you really lose more, you'll just wanna win back your capital.
when you just wanna win back your capital, you gamble big.
when you gamble big, you lose big.
when you lose big, you ask your family for help.
when you gamble while you owe your friends & family money, you'll bet big, real big.
when you gamble real big, you lose real big.
when you cant get anymore money from your friends or family, you'll gamble still.
when you carry on gambling, probably lose i bet.
when you lost alot alot alot of money, and you owe the whole world money,

loan shark.

when you borrow money from loan shark.
you're dead.

6-11-2007

2007-11-06T18:19:00.000+08:00

nowdays i realize friends are all scattering. you do your thing, i'll do mine. no one wants to do things together anymore. you talk behind my back, i'll talk behind yours. seems to me everyone's behaving like bastards. but to me i seriously dont care. i'll do my thing with my own reason and if you dont like it, lets just say its too bad. but there is one thing im clear about myself, i accept my past mistakes and i dont do things be behind your back to harm you in anyway. okay why did i typed all those craps, its redundant.

i am kinda looking forward to thursday, when im gonna meet my khakis. to play some pool may be. its been long dudes. lets hope all of us can make it.

okay i need to get back to doing school work and studying. coz i got nothing else to do ! yes my life is that boring. wish me luck for tmr's test. bye

5-11-2007

2007-11-05T00:23:00.000+08:00

my life is just too boring to update. i stayed at home 3/4 of the weekend.

and i was fucking pissed while doing the report for entreprenuership.

just fuck it. all of you. hate you all. cb

wth.

2007-11-01T09:10:00.000+08:00

currently 6am and i cant sleep.

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........

times back then.

2007-10-30T01:13:00.001+08:00

times back then.

You know sometimes if you continue doing something for some time, you'll eventually get bored.
In my case for example, i've been playing pool for like, close to 4 years? and i'm seriously DEAD BORED of that. I can still recall when i first started playing pool, and i can say its damn stupid.

It all started on a sunny afternoon when my friends and i were at a friend's house, with a pool table (coz his family owns a fucking big fish farm and hence the space). So eventually out of curiosity, we tried and surprisingly, all my friends just love it ! but not me. i dread it. major. But i continued playing with them coz i really dont wish to become the outcast.

After that day, playing pool became part of their lives, and hence mine too. And i suck at it so much i wanna cry lol. And so time and time we went out just to play pool, getting chased out of those damn pool halls is a frequent thing too, coz we were all underaged then.

One by one they became more skilled than me, and i can say out of 10 games i lost 9, back then.
Its my nature to hate the feeling of failure. I remember one of my friend telling me, its in my genes that I'm THAT lousy. (mind you, that fucker is talking about my parents)

So ever since that day i trained myself like mad, as in, MAD. After school play pool, skipped school just to play pool, morning play afternoon play night play, JUST play. There was one particular period, i played like 15hrs per day. And of coz, after awhile, i became semi-godlike lol.
But i still feel its not enough, so i trained even harder and i can say, i became 3/4-godlike LOL.

BUTTTTTT my friends were all improving like some mad shitzz too ! And hence we all became 3/4-godlikes. I can tell you, its the BEST time of our lives (at least for me kooties).

We were all 16 going on 17 years old then. Where ever we play, we were always under the spotlight. It was then i thought i actually got some real passion for this stuff.

Its was at Paradigm (a pool hall located at Lvl 6 Singapore Shopping Center) that we spent most our time at. Not forgetting Aunty Lynn, who took such good care of me (a 16yrs old innocent boy lol).

Some may say we wasted all our youths, but to me its surely not. It was that place where we've enjoyed, fought among ourselves, craps like there is no tomorrow, and most importantly, it was there where our bond grew.

Sadly, it closed down. We were all sad (at least i was damn damn damn sad). But its just a fact we gotta accept. And coincidently, it was that period when we left secondary school, and got into different institutes. My life changed.

All of us got our own path to move on, our own things to occupy ourselves, a new perspective of our own lives. We seldom meet up anymore, and even if we do meet up, i feel that there is this lack of topic to even talk about. Everything changed. I lost my passion, seriously.

Everytime i play now, its mainly to entertain people. And without the passion, i cant even execute 50% of my skills. I'm really very sad about that, coz i think i suck now. But its okay =)

Well its just another chapter of our lives, a new door that leads to an even better future(well i seriously hope so!), and the first step to learn to grow up.

Good luck everyone, in whatever you wanna pursue, seriously.

Good Start !

2007-10-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

HOLA HOLA HOLA !! I'm officially back with a new blog ! Well, im not gonna hide tha fact that i do own some crappy blogs before, and its always after a while that i find it such a hassle to update it, knowing that stuffs you post will never be something private.

However, i believe that this time its not gonna be the same ! i shall share my happy times (if theres any) to everyone(if theres any) whos gonna read my blog ! So let me now update about my current life =)

School is starting to get more confusing and busy. And my timetable sucks. Well, but i think its still okay. HOLA HOW CONTRADICTING IS THAT !

Most of my friends are busy with their own lives, on the whole. I do feel that there is a major need for a mass gathering.

Okay i need to get back to school work. Ciao ~!